If bullying seems like an old-fashioned problem, look around you. You’ll see the  girl being chased and teased by a pack of her peers, the boy isolated by his classmates because he’s smart, or poor at sports, or foreign, or simply has different interests than others— signs that all is not serene in the schools. We have all seen headlines announcing another suicide of an astonishingly young child, whose note cites bullying the cause, and many many more simply suffer in silence.

It’s true, not too much has changed, except that these days, bullies have even more effective techniques and tools at hand. Once home was a sanctuary, but now the internet, mobile phones, social networking sites can deliver the bullies’ cruelty nonstop around the clock, direct to a student’s bedroom. “Just as we parents and teachers learn how to handle one threat, another seems to spring up elsewhere,” says Claude Knights, director of the charity Kidscape. “For 25 years, we have been working for children’s safety, with a special interest in bullying, and we are still surprised by the violence, relentlessness, and creativity that bullies can display.” Girls have become more physically violent, boys have co-opted “gay” as this year’s ultimate put-down, and everyone knows how to drive a classmate to tears.

And is bullying harmless, just a children’s game? “We work with hundreds of severely  bullied children each year, and more than half have attempted or at least considered suicide,” Claude says. “We see lots of young people who are self-harming, or truanting and dropping out of school. And some of them become bullies themselves, ensuring this is a truly vicious cycle. Bullying can have a life-long effect, when young people are so demoralized that they withdraw, and spend their lives affected by feelings of shame, shyness and inferiority.

“We say it takes a whole community to stop bullying,” says Claude. “A school where bullying rules is one where students learn that power comes from unprovoked and unstopped aggression”

UK schools now must have an anti-bullying policy that sets out actions and consequences. Often the drawing up of this policy can be a  whole-school activity, and the discussions a useful way to talk about what is important, and to put together a workable solution. Copies of the policy should also be available to parents—it’s an important reminder, and a way of keeping parents involved, whether they are raising a bully, an onlooker, or a target. It is parents who are likely to notice the changes in behaviour that signal a child in distress, though young people will go to extremes to keep their problems to themselves, especially when they are afraid that telling about the bullying may lead to losing computer use or a mobile phone, or bullies’ threats be carried out.

Heading off bullying and dealing with both the bullies and the targets does not get easier. Still, there are practical steps a school can take. For a more complete discussion, with ideas for children, their families and professionals, see the Kidscape website www.kidscape.org.uk.

For starters, take a look at these ideas that work for teachers. 

·         Tell the children from the first day that bullying (verbal or physical) is not tolerated in the school. Children need to discuss bullying in class:  what it is, what can be done, why bystanders are part of the problem.

·         Everyone is expected to ensure that it does not happen and has the responsibility to report it – which  is not “telling tales. “ Develop a safe way of “telling”—BOX?

·         Have the children do a school survey to find out what children, teachers and staff think about bullying. Answer questions like,  what type of bullying do they see, should children tell if they are being bullied, have they ever been attacked by cyber-bullies? And do send Kidscape the results! Children can compile the survey and present results at a school assembly.

·         Have the classes draw up rules for behaviour. Agree a class/school set of rules. And consequences, when necessary.

·         Always emphasize the acceptability of, even the need for, “differences” in people. In fact, everyone IS different, and some of our best ideas and traits come from that part of us.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                           

·         If bullying is occurring, talk to the bullies and victims individually and find out the facts. Then follow your school’s policies.

·         Bullies themselves are often not happy. Young people can discuss ways to help the bullies become part of the group.

·         Teach children to be assertive, not aggressive, using programmes such as Kidscape’s.

·         Differences should be acceptable and never a cause for bullying. Reward and encourage children for individuality.

·         Children overwhelmed by bullying may have not told their parents, or anyone else. And bullies are very sneaky, preferring privacy for their most severe attacks. Map your school for such places—the toilets, the edges of the playground, for instance—and make sure they are supervised. Prevention is key.

·         Stay current—the technological revolution is a rapid one, and students will be up to speed on a new innovation about the time adults first hear of it. Be sure you are fluent in social media, twitter, email, and other methods of communication. Primary school students are perfectly capable of, say, putting up a website that abuses a classmate—and, in fact, many have.

·         Realise that bullying thrives on secrecy. Most children are reluctant to tell parents, afraid that their interference will make the situation worse. Use your eyes and ears.

·         Make use of Anti-bullying Week in the autumn as a great time to reinforce the school’s commitment with activities, assemblies and discussion. www.kidscape.org.uk has many ideas for all ages.

·         We offer staff training in child safety, anti-bullying programmes, and other professional expertise. Again, refer to our website for a list.

Kidscape produces publications with help for all ages, as well as parents and teachers, and many are downloadable for free. Our helpline for adults is open every day—08451205204, and we will soon have a peer-counselling service for young people.  Our long-running, innovative and successful program for severely-bullied children, called a “ZAP”, is a free, all-day workshop for young people 9-15 that teaches them how to block the bullies. It is effective for 80% of the students who attend.